They Say "Policy." You Say "Individualized."
Schools operate on budgets and averages. Your child is an individual. Learn how to spot when a "No" is based on bureaucracy rather than the law.
The Gatekeeping Dictionary
If you hear these phrases, your "Spidey Sense" should tingle. These are often used to delay or deny services for your child.
"We don't do that here."
"We don't offer 1:1 aides in this building."
The Counter: "The 'I' in IEP stands for Individualized. If the team determines my child needs this for FAPE, the district must provide it."
"Let's wait and see."
"Let's give it another grading period to see if he settles in."
The Counter: "Wait and Fail is not an intervention. I am requesting an evaluation now to prevent further harm to their self-esteem."
"He has good grades."
"He's getting A's and B's, so he can't have a disability."
The Counter: "IDEA requires we look at functional and emotional performance. Grades aren't the only metric of success."
⚠️ The "Behavior is a Choice" Trap
For twice-exceptional (2e) kids, schools often label meltdowns or work refusal as "defiance."
The Trap: "He chooses not to do the work. He's smart enough, he's just being lazy."
The Reality: Behavior is communication. "Laziness" is often overwhelmed executive function or fear of failure.
"If he could, he would. Since he isn't, something is blocking him. We need a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) to find the trigger."
The Ultimate Counter-Move: "Put it in the PWN"
When the school says "No" to a request—like an Evaluation, an aide, or a specific service—do not just accept it. Make them own it legally.
"I understand the team is refusing my request for [Service]. Please ensure that this refusal, and the specific data used to justify it, is documented in the Prior Written Notice (PWN)."
Why this works: Administrators hate writing refusals in the PWN because that document is Exhibit A in a due process hearing. Simply asking for the PWN often triggers a reconsideration.
When They Won't Budge: The Escalation Ladder
If implementation is failing, follow this chain of command:
- The Case Manager: Start here. Ask: "Can we check the data on these goals?"
- The Principal: "I'm concerned the IEP isn't being implemented as written."
- Director of Special Education: "The school team states they cannot provide FAPE due to staffing. I need your help to resolve this resource issue."
- State Complaint: Filing a formal complaint with your State Department of Education.